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Battle Between My Personality and Soul |
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| Name : |
Cathryn Taylor |
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| City: |
Chaska |
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| State : |
Minnesota |
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| Country : |
United States |
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| Article Reviews: 1 Reviews |
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DO YOU FEEL AT ODDS WITH YOUR SOUL'S CHOICES…
Confused about your life's situation -
In awe of what the "bigger" picture is?
Many of us are finding ourselves in compromised positions - situations that are far more complicated than our spiritual attainment would warrant. Some suggest that this is due to the many shifts that are happening on a planetary level - that this is part of the clearing that is happening. Supposedly, as of the eclipse that occurred on August 11, Mother Earth is in the process of ascending into ninth dimensional reality. What this means is that she is and has been moving from a fear-based consciousness to a love based one.
It is my understanding, based upon what I have read, that we can not maintain, electromagnetically, a lower frequency of consciousness than Mother Earth… so any of our issues that vibrate out of fear are going to be loosened within our consciousness and brought to the surface to be resolved and healed. we can no longer hide If we do ignore our pain we suffer from it. Denial is no longer an option. WE have come too far and know too much. It is as if there is a great big spot light on all of the unresolved issues of our soul and our personality is put in the position of dealing with them. The course that our soul charted is making itself known and for many us it is not a pleasant picture.. It is difficult and trying when we thought it would be rewarding and uplifting.. The end result is that it has triggered what I refer to as the BATTLE BETWEEN OUR SOUL SAND OUR PERSONALITY. I invite you to read the following piece I wrote. If it speaks to you then the three week lecture series that I am going to be giving starting on November 16th may speak to you as well.
MY PERSONALITY AND MY SOUL
My personality is at odds with my soul's choices. It accepts them. But it does not like them.
Several years ago I had a reading done at the Whole Life Expo by a friend of mine. She began by interpreting the numerology of my name. After her calculations - she stared at me dumbfounded. She reported that I had 4 9's in my name. 9's denote completion - letting go, saying good bye, dealing with loss. Most people, she says, have maybe 1, or at the very most 2, 9's in their name. But in mine, she pauses, and then continues, in mine, it is as if my guidance kept saying, "Well, do you want to deal with this? And I would say, "yes!" And then they would pose another issue and again my reply would be, "yes." She said it was as if the dialogue went on over 200 times, and finally they said, "Are you sure you want to meet all of these challenges?" And I kept saying, "Yes, I Do."
WELL TONIGHT I AM NOT SO SURE. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING OF. MY LIFE HAS BEEN ONE CONTINUOUS STREAM OF LOVING AND THEN FINDING THE GRACE TO LET GO. IT HAS BEEN ONE LONG RUN OF BEING A STAND IN FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO I LOVE. A STAND IN MOTHER, LOVER, FRIEND, ONE WHO HAS NO DIRECT RIGHTS, WHO ALWAYS GETS CAST TO THE SIDE WHEN THE TIME COMES FOR THERE TO BE A CHANGE. IT IS ALWAYS ME WHO IS ADJUSTING, ACCOMMODATING, MOVING ON AFTER SOMEONE ELSE HAS LEFT.
I committed my heart to my last relationship as my life's mate... only to find it was not a commitment he was willing to share. I agree with Spirit to go on the road - to give up all sources of security - to forego dependence on anyone else but my pet-and the journey ends with me putting his body to rest at the grave of my father. And that’s only two tales of the many I could tell.
WHAT KIND OF SOUL WOULD CHART SUCH A COURSE? -one with so many hellos and good byes-
I wonder sometimes, was I really, really bad and now I must suffer and experience such grief.
Am I destined to travel alone-living a life of hellos and good byes, teaching others how to grieve while at the same time grieving them?
WHAT KIND OF SOUL WOULD CHART SUCH A COURSE?
I go to my spiritual counselor for more information on this plight!
Oh, now I understand the roles, the rules and the challenges.....what I must find and then give up.
WHAT KIND OF SOUL WOULD CHART SUCH A COURSE?
Do you want to put me on a self-destructive course? Having few resources, but the divine... little comfort, but my mind?
I am at odds with you tonight. My inner children want to rebel. You of Spirit, you can take flight, you can rise above and be unaffected by the pain. I am the one left to do battle with these fears, with this grief!
You leave me alone for awhile!
I need time to get everyone inside back in faith with me... to once again trust me...
I will come around. I will meet the challenges you have laid out.
But I will do it on my time schedule, at my own pace.
I may pull back, shut down, tune out and wrestle with the Sun. But you know I will come through... I won't let you down, I will stay on your stupid charted course, make the right decisions, take the right action and keep your integrity intact. But have the decency to let me complain- I know my pact with you is to move through these tests and to process the pain. But back off for awhile, give me a break. Let me sort, and sigh and shuffle through, this mess you have created for me.
And you- Would you take the time, once in awhile, to at least say THANK YOU.
I don't care if you are Spirit and I am simple form. I have my rights, I deserve your respect, acknowledgment and praise. JUST TAKE TIME TO SAY A SIMPLE THANK YOU - AND ME? I WILL TAKE TIME TO MAKE PEACE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE SET BEFORE ME.
Tapping on this theme has produced magnificent results. It neutralizes the angst of the personality giving it the right to express its true feelings and then ultimately creates a pathway for forgiveness and healing. |
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